Actual news is happening at the same time as this stuff about The Interview movie.
Seems like this photography studio was set up to make dogs feel a little more comfortable than cats.
I'm bad with word problems, but I think this criminal's sweatshirt is saying heaven is only two miles away from hell.
This is a picture my friend @diannegallagher took of me doing standup on her TV screen. My set airs again on Wednesday on AXS TV.
Fuck all that Ebola shit! Here's some REAL news for you!
I only like drinking rum on boats, decided me on this boat today.
Nine Dollars. #nyc
I'm about to fly home for 13 hours. Jay Leno and Craig Furgeson are on my plane. Also another man with white hair dressed totally in denim, which is coincidental and suspicious. Anyhow, here's a picture of the tallest building in the world right now. #Dubai
Known as short bearded American. Four-wheeling Texas man. Teller of jokes. Reluctant Traveller. The bald one. Shaker of hands and he who says "excuse me", "please" and "thank you". Paul Muad'Dib Oddo, as the prophecy has foretold. #Dubai #DuneReference
You won't hear this in the news, but today in the Middle East a guy had a pretty good time on a four-wheeler. #Oman
This soda is gross, but overall the Middle East is really pleasant. #Oman
As I've said, Reno kinda sucks, but this hotel gave their conference rooms some hardcore names.
What'll you guys take for just the middle one?!
This place is a shit hole.
Ok Chicago, I like you.
Tonight at the Creek and The Cave @10pm! Free show! Winners of "Best Improv Show" at the Creek Awards - CUNK!
Yes, but who manages Jeffrey?
When I get out of jail I'm gonna open a candy store. I'll paint the sign out front with the tip of my penis and sell beer to all the good little boys & girls!
Grocery Store, don't go acting like "Dinosaur Plouts" are a thing that we've all heard of before.
The fact that no bugs or birds are eating this speaks to it's real nutritional value.