Can someone womansplain to me what mansplaining is?
I can't wait for the next episode of this guy's fashion thing or puppet show or whatever the fuck he does!
Yes! Groupon, you finally get me. I want to SEE Ricky Martin, but I don't want to PAY more than $26! Is this the singularity?! I've never been more understood by anything or anyone!!!
Oh look, Fernet-branca is made from old cigar butts, dirt, sticks, rocks and turds. What a surprise! That's exactly what I though it tasted like. #fuckyouItsgrossandyouknowit
the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
"Just write the facts and throw in a few butt holes. We're targeting a pretty basic audience."
Oh, I get it. Kind of offensive, but I get the joke.
Agreed. However, this does imply that at one point the goal at the Houston airport WAS cancer.
11 days until my shows in Austin, TX. I'm giving a free download of my album and book to everyone who attends. Please spread the word and thank you for your support! Link to the club and tickets in my bio.
Come...climb into the pond. She is fresh and you may watch the Dish Network as your back is magically healed! Come to the pond. No?
Throwing all my scrap wood out and it looks like I'm trying to burn down a street light.
For Sale: Used Nightmares
This dude fishes fish
Every time I turn around, this guy turns around and does this. I'm pretty sure I'm being followed.
I could see this backfiring
So far, so good.
Three years ago, on Memorial Day, I met this beautiful, brilliant woman. I have been challenging life to produce a more fortunate, lasting stroke of good luck since then. If you ask me, it's not possible. There are ups and downs we all experience in life. Time goes by too fast. Braving the storm beside a person with the elegance, loyalty and humor of @tuesdaymundy reminds me what the point of it all is. If this world were a kind and just one, then we would all be paired up with an angel like her. It isn't though, and for that reason I give greater thanks to whatever magic brought us together. I sincerely wish you all a fraction of the happiness she has given me, because it is a blinding light.
Goodnight and good luck.
Even the litter in Brooklyn is pretentious.
Larry Flint's esteemed alma mater
It's a machine that generates an artificial wind! The power of nature has finally been harnessed and tamed by man!!!